The Selection Series

Alright so this past year I was introduced to a mind bending, life altering series of books entitled The Selection written by Kierra Cass. I had no idea why I loved these books so much. I mean I'm married with a baby, and not only that HAPPILY MARRIED! I love my husband more than I love anyone else on this entire earth!

So why was I obsessed with this teen romance.

I finally figured it out.

This past year I had a baby. Shortly after I started the first book. I didn't realize that I sympathized so much with the main character until today. I feel like I'm America Singer when I read the book, which made no sense because she is caught in, one of the overly common among teen romances, love triangles, with Prince Maxon and Aspen.

Then I realized that Matt was both my Aspen and my Maxon. He was my prince charming that I had to fight for attention now with the screaming milk hungry infant. I spent to much of my time worrying that Matt wouldn't want me if it came down to me or the baby. I worried that he would love this new baby more than he could love me. I fought for and begged for his attention in the most unladylike of ways. I tried to get back into his heart, a place I felt had no more room for me.

I crave for my old relationship with Matt. I want that time back where we would sit around at night and craft or watch a television show. The nightly walks around the block or the drives around the county. I crave the late night conversations, the random unorganized date nights. I miss the way he used to look at me, like there was no one else but me in the whole world, that I was the one and would always be the one.

Don't get me wrong here, I love my life now. I love my Matt and I know that I will grow to accept this new and changing Matt and realize my place and standing in his heart. I too will speak my mind about our relationship, the overall situation, and maybe one day ... Matt and I can have a random date night again. Maybe we can have the rare crafting night, and maybe just maybe I will start to realize that that place in his heart that was solely reserved for me hasn't decreased in size, his heart has just gotten bigger to hold his love for our daughter there.